By shelz.
Shut Down The Meringue Party Miami. Brady Is Still Ballin.
ESPN delivered messages of doom and gloom for Foxboro earlier this week when they reported Tom Brady took a shot to the knee during practice. There was no evidence that Tebow had a lock of Tom’s hair and a decapitated chicken head in his locker and Bernard Pollard was not found hiding in the dirty towel bin. Divine conspiracy theorists are already considering it more heavenly fallout from Spygate, but a little more than a sprain would have been the outcome if that were true.
The Bucs’ Adrian Clayborn pushed Nate Solder into Tom Terrific during a simple drill; a move I’m sure has Solder strapped to Belichick’s rack in the basement right now. The Pats aren’t going anywhere Miami. Brady went 11 of 12 with a touchdown to Welker 2.0 Amendola in Friday’s victory over the Bucs. You’ll have to beat them fair and square. An event that might be a bit easier if you could get Ellerbe to stop whiffing on tackles.
Speaking of Doom and Gloom…
It doesn’t appear there will be either in Denver this year at the rate Von Miller is going. With the doom half of the equation leaving the building via that dumb ass fax snafu and the gloom half spending camp taking piss tests and missing courts dates, Denver’s edges might look as raggedy as Naomi Campbell’s come game one [Ouch-ed note]. I sure as hell hope so. Anyway, Von Miller was arrested for something ridiculous the other day, deflating his dropping stock just a bit more. Maybe football Jesus in the pistol will help because Denver might have to score like Anthony Weiner this year since opposing qb’s will have forever in the pocket. Hopefully. J
Yes? No? Maybe? Well Just A Little…
Dez Bryant thinks Johnny Manziel should be suspended, but not really suspended, just kinda suspended sort of while he sits out the season because he sorta is not kinda like suspended… a little. There is no thin line between what Dez Bryant wants to say and what Dez Bryant thinks he should say. He can’t marry the two into any sort of cohesion. What he should have said, which is the truth, is that the NCAA has rules and the players and schools are bound by them. If a player is found on the wrong side of the rule (i.e. charging for autographs) he needs to bear the consequence for his behavior. I did. BAM. And for all of you who believe college players capitalizing financially on their school success should be allowed, all I can say is once that’s the rule, knock yourself out. Until it is, uniformity of discipline is a necessity. Just ask Chris Webber. Or well… Dez Bryant. Wait. Never mind.
Who Gives A Damn What Kendrick Lamar Thinks When Donovan McNabb Is Going In?
Ya’ll will have to excuse me, but I find Donovan Mcnabb vs. Robert Griffin III way more interesting than a group of talented, yet brutally unproductive rappers (save Drake) being all butt hurt because Kendrick Lamar thinks he’s the new Czar of Hip-Hop or whatever. This verse of his has poked these dudes out of their weed, speed and lean-induced comas long enough to hit the booth in protest, but all the hype will soon subside and they will go back to whatever it is they do instead of showing up to their concerts.
Anyway, Donovan McNabb thinks RG3 has been brainwashed by DC aka Mike Shanahan because he won’t accept McNabb’s offer to talk. Man, if I were Mr. Griffin I would stay away from McNabb like he had the plague…and the cooties… and some clippers. I love McNabb. I do. His presence in Philly back in the early 2000’s was magnificent and his stats speak for themselves, but he’s not coming to RG3 as that guy. He’s coming to RG3 as a disgruntled Redskins (*vomits) ex-employee. Not a good look for RG3 to cozy up to him. McNabb should understand that side of the business and not be all pissy and arrogant about this.
