By shelz.
So I got my Direct TV bill in the mail yesterday and it turns out they don’t even bother to ask you if you want Sunday Ticket anymore. They just append that ish to your bill and hope you don’t notice. I’m totally down with the program, but it would be nice if they would ask. Customer service everywhere is ass these days and the anguish involved with having something removed from a utility bill is on par with passing a kidney stone. But whatever. I’m good. It’s just a another sign that football is almost here. How can I be mad about that?
Anyway, I’ve seen some interesting NFL stuff in the last few days and of course I’m going to share it with you. That’s my job around here.
Why Doesn’t He Want Me?
You remember that episode from The Fresh Prince when Ben Vereen played Will Smith’s deadbeat dad who stood him up before the big trip and never came back? Tear jerker, right? That’s how I’m assuming Vonta Leach feels right now. I mean he is the best FB in the league. He’s not a prima donna or a miscreant. He works hard and makes Ray Rice look like a superstar. Why did the market treat him like moldy cheese? Don’t care. He’s back in Baltimore. I would be thrilled if Dennis Pitta didn’t channel grandmas across the globe and break his hip last week. Now who’s going to be Boldin 2.0 with the cap space the Ravens have left? Visanthe Shiancoe? There’s still time, B’more. Get it together.
The Pouncey Brothers and That Damn Hat
If you are not up to speed, there are a pair of Pounceys in the NFL. Pouncey 1 (Mike) plays for Miami. Pouncey 2 (Maurkice) plays for Pissburgh and they both thought it was a good idea to walk around a couple of weeks ago with hats that read, “Free Hernandez.” Yeah, I know. Anyway Pouncey 2 apologized, but Pouncey 1 did not. We now return you to regularly scheduled programming.
The Miami Pouncey said that the only reason his brother, The Pittsburgh Pouncey, apologized for wearing that dumb ass hat was because his team chose to handle it that way. And he isn’t going to apologize because his team has chosen not to handle it that way.
Sigh.
That statement speaks volumes that I’m sure Mr. Pouncey didn’t intend. It suggests that this pair isn’t really sorry or they don’t know if they are sorry and need someone to tell them if they are sorry. It also says that he is pretty unaffected by the fact that a mother just buried her son. Considering the fact that he doesn’t know when to beg out of a situation that has no good ending for him, my money is on the latter. I’m going to assume the Dolphin front office is preparing his mea culpa at this time.
Rex Ryan is Not a Lame Duck Coach, Per Rex Ryan
He’s already swearing up a storm in media moments; suggesting he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what happened last year because this year is all that matters. He’s right, but those words always sound better coming from someone who actually accomplished something in the past 365 days. Einstein once said something to the effect of thinking the same actions will produce different results is insanity. So is trading one player whose last name has infamously become a verb (to Tebow) for another (to Cundiff). But what do I know?
Speaking of Tebow, Reports Suggest He Will Not Be a Receiver in Foxboro.
I know the powers that be in New England think they have a knack for turning shit into sugar, but umm…what? It’s being reported by someone up there that Tebow is running the third team offense and only attending the QB workshops and yadayadayada. I’ll believe it when I see it. Maybe he’s just there to erase all the evil energy left by that guy charged with murder whose name can’t be spoken anymore. Kinda like Candyman.
Speaking of Candyman
Am I the only one who finds the responses of Aaron Hernandez’s former football homes hypocritical? Sounds to me like this guy was displaying a shit ton of anti-social behavior for years and folks blew it off or swept it under the rug because of his production on the field. But because this incident led to a murder, everyone is outraged and erasing him from their pasts like he never existed. Obviously, it wasn’t the behavior that folks recoiled from, but the outcome. Which makes these programs *cough Florida and New England cough* disingenuous in my opinion. But again, what do I know?
Anywho, it’s right around the corner. This is the time of season when all outcomes are possible and all (ah..most) fans are hella optimistic. Until the black and purple whoop your ass and you remember your place.
Go Ravens!
Shelz.
