By shelz.

I’m not sure why everybody is so outdone by this Rihanna interview.  We all know a woman who gets the paws put on her and still claims to care for her abuser.  You’ve had that neighbor who cursed you out for calling the police on her man after he woke up the complex beating her over the head with a lamp.  Hell, she probably had a fresh black eye when she confronted you.  Or that friend who always said… wait for it….”BUT I LOOOOVE HIM.”  At one point you give up and just hope he doesn’t kill her.

For anyone not in the loop, Rihanna Fenty gave a very candid interview to Oprah Winfrey during which she pretty much admitted what we already knew.  She still loves Chris Brown and considers him a friend; a very close one. It took courage not to tow the line of acceptability and just say that Brown was no longer in her world and wouldn’t be.  She told a truth that’s not just hers.  I don’t really get it, but who am I to judge?

When millions of people you don’t know, will never know, feel they deserve an explanation for what you do in your private life it’s easy to let some writer draw up your opinion and hand it to you.  Rihanna did the right thing.  She moved on and forgave.  Her being friends with him? You know, I don’t know. But if she feels peace in that, who am I to tell her she’s wrong.  Battered woman syndrome?  Maybe. Little support from a mother who was also exposed to this same type of treatment from a man she once loved.  Probably.  Is the reunion only on pause because it would affect her career?  I think so.

Think her money should insulate her from this type of life experience or buy her some more palatable logic?  Nope. Money doesn’t really fix much.  It doesn’t fix abuse.  It doesn’t fix addiction.  It doesn’t fix self esteem.  All it means is your lights won’t get cut off while you’re getting your ash whopped.

I’ve never been in an abusive relationship.  It’s very easy to say, “oh I could never have feelings for a man who hurt me like that.”  I mean, I probably wouldn’t, but you don’t know till you’re there and that’s a place I never want to be.  So I won’t dwell on the whys.  I don’t understand that behavior and I’m good with that. I’m happy, she’s freed herself of the anger and she’s  been able to forgive.  There’s a lot going on here from a psychological perspective that few of us understand.  Hopefully both Rihanna and her mother can work this out in a way that will save them from future abuse. I think Rihanna’s honesty makes Brown’s new girlfriend’s mocking seem childish.  Any chick that would laugh at the pain and shame involved in this type of soul barring obviously hasn’t reached her full flower yet.  I hope Chris Brown doesn’t make her a woman in the same way.

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