By shelz.
The 54th Grammy Awards are right around the corner and per our normal custom, Planet Ill is going to take a shot at predicting the winners. It’s not rocket science. Country is always weighted heavier than pop, but takes a back seat to Rock. Hip-Hop is the red headed step-child and R&B only exists in the non-televised portion of the ceremony. Commerce is king and “new” artists have been around for at least five years. Now that you know the rules, let’s get busy.
There are 896,013 categories but I’ve narrowed it down to my favorite 10. Someone call Miss Cleo, I’m coming to take her crown. Wait. Don’t call her. If she’s psychic, she already knows.
Best Rap Performance
Chris Brown – “Look At Me Now”
The Throne – “Otis”
Lupe Fiasco – “The Show Goes On”
Nicki Minaj – “Moment 4 Life”
Wiz Khalifa – “Black And Yellow”
I looked at this list and looked at this list and looked again. It’s the Grammy’s. I know. I have no idea what those people think about Hip-Hop. Chris Brown rapping should not be considered. That Lupe song is corny as hell and I’m from Baltimore so it’s against my natural agenda to give the Steelers the least little bit of love. I don’t want to see Nicki Minaj on stage more than I have to ( wait. I said her name twice.) That leaves Otis and I can live with that.
Planet Ill pick: “Otis”
Best Rap Album
The Throne – Watch The Throne
Lil Wayne – The Carter IV
Lupe Fiasco – Lasers
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
Kanye West – My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is the most overlooked piece of music in this ceremony. It deserves more than this, but this is all it will get. Hopefully. I have this horrible feeling that Nicki Minaj (dammit. Is that three times?) will win something and get on stage wearing black face and two huge pieces of watermelon rind held together by EBT cards.
Planet Ill pick: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Best Rock Performance/Song
Coldplay – “Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall”
The Decemberists – “Down By The water”
Foo Fighters – “Walk”
Mumford & Sons – “The Cave”
Radiohead – “Lotus Flower”
These two awards have the same nominees, so I’ve combined them. If two different songs win, I’ll be very confused. Mylo Xyloto is so far off the mark, I question if it’s even rock. “Lotus Flower” is a long shot and no one has ever heard of The Decemberists. They are even more obscure than Arcade Fire. (It’s your loss though; The King Is Dead is a great album.) “The Cave” is such a tidy and inspirational song, but we gave them an award already. “Walk” gets my vote for both awards.
Planet Ill Pick: “Walk”
[pro-player width=’450′ height=’323′ type=’video’]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PkcfQtibmU[/pro-player]
Best Pop Solo Performance
Bruno Mars – “Grenade”
Lady Gaga – “You & I”
Pink – “F*kkin Perfect”
Adele – “Someone Like You”
Katy Perry – “Firework”
I really don’t like Katy Perry. She’s more marketing -know-how than talent. Lady Gaga, again, should not see any parts of that stage tonight. I didn’t even know Pink released anything this year and it’s too late to listen now. Bruno may have fared better if it weren’t for Adele, but it is what it is.
Planet Ill Pick: “Someone Like You”
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