By shelz.

I was cleaning up my hard drive because my computer was drowning in unnecessary files and I came across Drake’s video for “Best I Ever Had.”  You remember the basketball team that bounced more titty than ball and spent most of their practice time stretching?  Yeah, that video. Wasn’t it supposed to spell the end for Drake?  Weren’t women mad because of something or other?  Do y’all even remember that you were about to burn your Drake shit?  Probably not. 

It’s funny how we get all worked up just to toss the issue to the side and move forward like it never happened.  Girls, please note, dudes have peeped this and you will continue to find strange panties in the back seat of your ride until you make some changes and stick to your original, mad-as-hell guns, but I digress.

This made my mind wander to other incidents that left the Hip-Hop community with our panties in a bunch, just for us to act like it never happened.  Are you still aggravated?  Have you stopped giving that artist your money?  Or are you full of hot air?

So without further adieu Planet Ill presents the frowney-faced chronicles; Hip-Hop’s 10 most infuriating events.  You know, the ones you forgot all about. Enjoy.

T-Pain’s Big Ass Chain

No one who buys a 7 Series with a 30 thousand a year net has any room to talk, but plenty of folks did.  People were going to stop buying his music and they thought he should have donated that money to charity and some even called it coonish.  He’s still around though, I guess the protest wasn’t that serious.

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Joe Budden Accused of Domestic Abuse

I don’t know if this guy beats women or not, but once Esther Baxter started talking a lot of people started listening. Strangely enough, the anger from the peanut gallery quickly shifted from Budden to Bossip and their decision to post graphic pictures of the miscarriage Baxter said she sustained due to the abuse.  We aren’t mad at Bossip anymore either though.

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Asher Roth’s Nappy Headed Hoes Tweet

Not too long after Don Imus’ fall from Grace due to his use of a racial slur when describing the Rutgers women’s basketball team, Asher Roth found himself on that campus.  Imus was terminated, the team has begun to heal and Al Sharpton had just given his last sermon to close the ugly incident down.  And what does Roth do?  He brought it all back to the surface by tweeting that he was hanging out with, you guessed it, nappy headed hoes.  Yo, black folks were maaaaaad.  But Roth served up some Seared Foie Gras with Quince and Cranberry and folks got over it.

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Lupe Doesn’t Even Really Like Tribe Like That

If you were old enough to drive in the early 90’s there was nothing  better to have in the tape deck (yes,  I said tape deck) than A Tribe Called Quest.  It was madly musical, wonderfully evocative, addictive, top-down Hip-Hop for the masses.  Even if you weren’t there, you still have to know what this crew did, right?  Wrong.  Lupe Fiasco, after flubbing some lines of “Electric Relaxation” during a Hip-Hop Honors show, blamed the fact that he wasn’t familiar with their music and folks flipped.  That’s like wanting to be a Civil Rights leader and not knowing who Martin Luther King, Jr. is because his movement happened before you were born.  Isn’t it? Anyway folks were angrier about that than they were when Lupe called President Obama a terrorist.  But Lasers is about to go Gold. Go figure.

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Moon Cricket!?!

The Racist Rap Hour with Bassmint Productions was one of the most explosive subjects The Source ever took on.  Say what you want about that crew and the subsequent fall of the mag, the issues that rolled out when Benzino and crew were at their angriest contained some of the most compelling writing any Hip-Hop magazine has ever produced.  Eminem’s lost tapes found him hurling slurs like, “spear-chucker” and “porch monkey.”  He also said he didn’t get with black chicks because he didn’t do nigger shit. After the music was released, Em went on the offensive, rhyming Benzino out of any sort of position to respond.

Finally, on “Yellow Brick Road,” Eminem said his evil ex black girlfriend drove him to recording the racist material by being a two-timer.  Yes sistas, that was our fault. Even though no such relationship ever happened.  We bought it though, and all was forgiven.

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Stay tuned for part 2…

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