By Single Black Female

Lately, my daughter has made it her business to request a sibling at least once a month. It’s always the same spiel:

“Mommy, I want you to have a baby so I can have a brother or sister.”

“Mommy is not having any more babies” I reply.

“Ok then can I have a dog?”I have to laugh because she doesn’t realize it’s a blessing that SHE gets fed; it would be slim pickings for another mouth. Besides, our poor fish damn near does tricks to get my attention so I can feed IT! Then it attacks the food like a shark, probably because it’s glad I remembered and neither of us are ever quite sure when I’ll get passed that bowl again. No, no, a baby just won’t do..

My princess will be 11 soon, so she’s not quite old enough to realize mommy is too damn tired to be popping out another human being. Hell, it’s been almost nine years since I changed a diaper (oh yeah I was on potty training detail quick, if you can walk, you can use the toilet. My little mama was walking a few weeks after she turned one…nuff said) not to mention all the other fuss and attention babies require. I can see it now, me catching a case because my pre teen is raising the baby. I’ve become accustomed to the budding young lady I have on my hands now. All I do is say the word; “get in the shower,” “brush your teeth,” “find something to wear.” Just the thought of going back to night time feedings, strollers, carriers, onesies…I feel hives forming as I write this, no thank you I can’t go backwards.

I tried reasoning with my spoiled only child; she’s so used to getting what she wants, I figured if I told her the consequences of living with a sibling she’d change her tune.

“Sweetie, you know a baby means time and attention taken away from you.” She was unfazed. “It’s a baby ma, I know you have to take care of it, I’ll help sometimes, but no diapers,” was her reply.  “Ok, well that means you have to share space under the tree at Christmas, it won’t be all for you anymore.” Pause. I knew I had her then.  “It’s ok ma, I’ll just make my list shorter when the baby comes.”

Hold up! First of all, who was this person I was talking to? Certainly not the same one who threatened to trade her father for an Easy Bake Oven, one year. And what’s all this WHEN stuff there are no babies being added to our mix.

Why were we even having this conversation? Why hadn’t she outgrown wanting a sibling? Why was I feeling guilty for not giving her someone to grow up with? It was much too late for baby talk now, the age difference would be too great and I know very well the results of that; I was eight when my sister was born. Once the excitement of the new baby subsided, I was uninterested. Sure she was cute as a button, kind of looked like one of my baby dolls but “watching” her cut into my cartoon time and that was unacceptable. Fast forward five years or so and having her glued to my hip, because “that’s your baby sister” was cramping my style. Believe me, a teenager and a five year old have nothing in common. Of course as she got older we became thick as thieves but at thirteen I wasn’t trying to hear it. No, a baby won’t do.

Ironically, we were both missing the bigger picture: I’m single, I don’t have a prospect for a boyfriend let alone a husband and father. Of course, skillful as a sharpshooter, blowing away all my defenses, little one had an answer for that. “I know there’s men who like you just PICK one, have a baby, I’ll have my brother or sister and we’ll all be happy.”

If it were only that simple. “People should be married before they have children darling, REMEMBER THAT!” “They should be, but they don’t have to be, I don’t want a stepfather anyway.” Wait, what? “OK, THAT’S IT, NO MORE TV FOR YOU!”

*Blank stare*

Do you all see what I deal with on a daily basis? And that’s just a piece of the great conversations we have. I must make this parenting stuff look easy because she doesn’t realize I have a hard enough time keeping up with all of her needs, activities and growing pains, if we add a miniature person who can’t speak or do for themselves someone is going to be in trouble. More than likely that someone will be me; the baby can’t do tricks to get my attention, my pre teen will be getting up at night to feed the baby (who me? Heck no I need my beauty rest, plus once I close my eyes I’m out for the count) I’ll have a case pending before the first well baby visit. No, a baby just won’t doe. Maybe I can talk her into getting a Cabbage Patch instead…

Sincerely yours,
SBF

Follow Us on Twitter @ http://twitter.com/planetill

Join Us on the Planet Ill Facebook Group for more discussion

Follow us on Networked Blogs