By shelz.

The beat definitely goes on this week. And on. And on.  I don’t know how many folks Hip-Hop is going to unearth, but yours truly is about to lock the doors and nail wood planks over the windows like the people in that George Romero film. Rappers have conducted séances non-stop for the past three weeks and Lil Boosie has even been given a get out of jail free card in “Lil Boosie Out!” But what’s funny is if all these folks really came back, a lot of rappers would be hitting up UPS. They aren’t hiring these days, so be careful of what you wish for.

Speaking of funny, one thing that is not is that Lonely Island album.  I don’t know if any of you have listened to Turtle Neck & Chain, but I guess the SNL skits don’t really have the same punch in audio only form.  Adding insult to injury, I feel the trio has crossed the threshold from parodying rap to disrespecting the culture.  Listen to “Threw It On The Ground” when you get a chance.  The liberties taken are a bit much.  Call me extra sensitive if you want, but at some point, darts hurled in the community’s direction, even in jest, should be looked at with a thoughtful eye and I’m not sure I like what I see. That’s just my two cents.  Wait.  One more thing.

I kid about “Tupac Back,” but why is the entirety of the new left coast sleeping on the obligatory “Eazy E Back?”  Even if the concept is hella played at this point, someone HAS to do one. I’ll start the ball rolling.

Eazy’back, Eazy back

A jehri curl and a strap, the boys in the hood is hard so Eazy E always packs….[Ed note… 🙁 ]

Yeeaahhh. That was it. That’s it. Wait.  Is JJ Fad back too? Sigh. Alrighty folks, on with the show. First up is Chip Tha Ripper sip sip sip sip “Sippin On Some Syrup.”

Chip Tha Ripper – Sippin On Some Syrup

Outside of people smoking bath salt, this has to be the craziest sounding form of inebriant.  When I was kid you couldn’t have paid me in free trips to the unicorn zoo to drink cough syrup.  Then on top of that, it’s kinda deadly.  Then again so is crack, but what do I know?  Chip sounds flat here.  Maybe his syzurp didn’t have any bubbles. Your bitch wants his wee wee.  Yes, we know.

Memphis Bleek -Coming To Break You Off

Next is Memphis Bleek.  His new mixtape is Kush Volume 1 and he’s “Coming To Break You Off” courtesy of The Roots. He’s a Don. Did you know that?  Anyway there’s plenty of unsolicited product placement and money talk.  As a matter of fact, Bleek has so much money he can buy everything in the mall.  I like Bleek.  He’s smooth here, but the lyrics are meh.  It doesn’t matter though. There is nothing anyone can do to this track to stop the head nod. Oh, he doesn’t do foreplay so bitches have to get it ready on their own.

styles p – yonkers

Next we have Styles P swiping Tyler the Creator’s “Yonkers.” Well, let me clarify.  This track is “Yonkers”-ish.  There’s something amiss here. The piano is wrong.  It’s obviously looped and the point where the top meets the bottom is awkward.  I’m not quite sure what Styles is talking about, but I do understand one thing.  He doesn’t like you and if you don’t pay him he will kidnap your bitch.

I’m seeing a pattern here.

Mayer Hawthorne – Work To Do

I didn’t think I would ever say this, but thank heavens for Mayer Hawthorne. “Work to Do” is from The Isley Brothers album, Brother, Brother, Brother and is a wonderfully constructed old school jam.  Now Mayer Hawthorne isn’t Mr. Biggs, but he does a great job here and his band, The County, is fantastic.

Killa Kyleon – Soldier

Closing it down is something I’m still teetering on the fence about, so maybe you can help me out.  Texas spitter Killer Kyleon is about as rough and tough as a rapper can get and he has taken that gruff exterior and splashed it all over Sade’s “Soldier of Love.” The drowsy, melancholy track buckles under Killa’s bars, but he doesn’t sound bad.  I guess it’s just an ill fit.  Tell us what you think.

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