By Odeisel

After a decade of wild partying, “accidentally released” sex tapes, time in jail, reality television and paparazzi flash bulbing it, Paris Hilton, partial heiress to the Hilton Hotel empire, turned 30 last night. A decade of wild parties and controversies has made her infamous, but she has transformed carousal to cash, making big money from her image (her perfume line ain’t bad at all). Don’t forget shoes and hair extentions (clip on weaves) for the hair length challenged.

Last night, she celebrated her birthday in grand fashion after a week full of festivities, but there was one glaring omission to all of her revelry: someone stole the cake! The event was crashed by a guy named Paz, who (rather successfully given all the coverage) is looking to make a name for himself. With a bit of help from a homie and a probably soon to be fired ass waiter, dude got out of there with a 70lb cake and went straight to Facebook to big himself up. It’s the kind of things that poor people get locked up for but high society people think is funny. The cake costs $3200 which is more than the bracelet stolen by “Fingers” Lohan a couple weeks ago.

In a statement released a couple hours ago, President and CEO Jared Gurfein of Viridian Spirits, and the guy who commissioned the cake released the following statement:

“It is very unfortunate that someone stole the cake from Paris’s birthday party. We had the cake designed especially for Paris with Lucid in the batter and a beautiful representation of Lucid’s artwork on it, which she had requested to meet the Moulin Rouge theme of the party. We’re happy that Paris and her guests were able to enjoy a night of Lucid cocktails, including the Paris Lemonade / Paris frozen Lucid Sorbet – and only wish that the guests could have tried her delicious cake.  As for Paz, feel free to connect with us on the Lucid Absinthe Facebook page, where we would love to hear your side of the story and we will try to arrange for you to try Lucid yourself!”

The kid Paz has his face all over the Facebook page, along with the cake itself and yet somehow, I don’t think he’s going down for the great Cakenapping Caper. It would however, be interesting to see what happens if that Paz guy takes him up on his “offer.” Either way, Lucid (funny name for absinthe as anyone who’s seen someone gone off it knows) got their statement/advertisement off, Paris could probably care less about the cake, and Paz could push his music (Yeah…I know).

In the world of high society, there are wrist slaps aplenty and lawyers that can get you out of pretty much anything. My main man Charlie Sheen is in rehab, not jail, even though he was partying with entire BRICKS of Coke. Enough to make Pepsi jealous. Such is life; we play the hands we’re dealt. Absinthe is a helluva drug (or drink as it were). Enough to make someone take the cake.  I’d love to see what would happen isfSaigon bounced from the Entourage set with a cake worth $3200.

Happy Birthday Paris and many more.