By Elianne Halbersberg

You’ve been there: in line at the grocery store, the waiting room in a doctor’s office, an afternoon matinee, Sunday service at church, a cross-country flight. One minute you’re minding your own business, deep in thought; the next, you’re ready to skin yourself because the screaming baby next to you WON’T SHUT UP.

In all fairness — and to avoid being labeled a heinous baby-hater — grocery stores, waiting rooms, matinees, church pews and flying metal tubes are no fun for infants,but leaving the baby with a sitter isn’t always an option, and that means consequences for uncomfortable child and heinous baby-haters alike.

It happened on a cross-country flight to the winter NAMM show in January: middle seat, last row, across from a screaming child. Make that a shrieking child. Five hours of shrieking child. And when the kid finally dozed off, along came cart service to wake her up and start the whole damn process again.

So imagine my unrestrained glee at winter NAMM when, upon asking the nice gentlemen at Ultimate Ears — vice president and general manager Philippe Depallens and director of product marketing Paul Manfrini — whether their products could noise-cancel tiny human lungs, they sent me home with a pair of Universal Fit earphones just to prove their point. Five hours of silence all the way back to the East Coast; if a baby screamed, I didn’t know it. Bliss.

Ultimate Ears, by Logitech, was born stage-side at a Van Halen concert in 1995, thanks to sound engineer Jerry Harvey, who first developed an in-ear speaker system with sound isolation for drummer Alex Van Halen. The key: dual drivers and custom-fitted shells made from impressions of Van Halen’s ears — built for comfort, durability and a crystal clear in-ear mix. Today, 75 percent of the touring music market uses these products, which Manfrini describes as “$30,000 stereo sound systems in your ears.”

Ultimate Ears are manufactured with a 100 percent acrylic outer shell. They are handmade from impressions that can be made in-office or via a worldwide network of audiologists on referral by the company. UE can turn an order around in five to seven days from receipt of impression. Customers can also submit designs and artwork for their personalized earphones.

The earphones come in two models: Custom Fit, handcrafted for touring musicians and serious audiophiles, and Universal Fit, which are available at three different prices levels with three different levels of delivery. Custom Fit models are high end, ranging in cost from $399 – $1350 for six speakers per ear, while the Universal Fit begin at retail level $49.99 – $89.99 and top off at $399.99 – $419.99 for models that come with five different tips. Some models are also iPhone-compatible.

The separation of sound comes from the armature speakers, which originated in hearing aids to capture voices. “The speakers are miniaturized into each earphone,” says Manfrini. “Each speaker receives a portion of the spectrum — low, mid and high — for precise sound and tuning. Studio engineers are often frustrated that they select the right setup and mix for their recordings and it’s eliminated by the poor quality of compression. These earphones allow the audience to appreciate their work.”

It’s interesting, and somewhat perplexing, to contemplate the items on which the general public is willing to drop serious coin. They’ll shell out crazy money for clothing that hangs in the closet, 100 television channels that they never tune in to, and jewel-encrusted watches that tell time the same way as a chain-store brand. Yet, when it comes to something as precious as their hearing — which, once it’s gone, they can’t get back — they’ll compromise with an uncomfortable, low-end product. Why not protect something as valuable as your hearing, possibly for a fraction of the cost of your latest pair of jeans or boots?

For more information, and guaranteed relief from screaming babies, visit www.ultimateears.com/_ultimateears/.

Elianne Halbersberg is a freelance writer whose work has also appeared in Mix, Premier Guitar, Electronic Musician, Audio Media, Ink 19 and many other magazines and websites.

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