By A Negro With A Keyboard
In the bestselling novel, Our Kind of People, author Lawrence Otis Graham vividly recalls memories of his uber-elitist upbringing, through a historical account of the Black upper class in America. In this candidly detailed (and almost sickening) memoir about the schools, societies, fraternities, sororities, professions and vacation spots that have been a staple among this group, the constant theme resonating throughout was the necessity for wealthy African-Americans to maintain a sense of “civility” at all times, staying out of the public limelight and rarely, if ever, discussing money. While finding the majority of this text disgusting and representative of the cultural nuances that have kept the Black race separate for generations, I still found something very sensible about having a bit of discretion about wealth, regardless of the hue of one’s skin.
I could not help but reflect on this book when I recently watched Diddy (I think that’s his name at the present time) throw a star-studded Sweet 16 for his beloved son and first toddler with a restaurant, Justin Combs. The red-carpet soiree featured Justin’s date for the evening, Young Money artist and fat a$$ of the moment, Nicki Minaj as well as Trey Songz, Fabolous, Jim Jones, Little Kim, and a variety of others in addition to tons of pageantry and Sean John signage. The defining moment though, was when Diddy gave the young man a $350,000 Maybach, along with a full-time driver. Yet the check for the young man to give to a charity of his choice was only for $10,000(thankfully, to the young man’s credit, he chose to donate this money to Yele Haiti). Call me crazy, but something about this shindig felt more like a promotional stunt than a birthday party.
Sean Combs has always been a polarizing figure to me, and most of you I’m sure. We have been rocking with him since the early 90’s and even now he still dominates almost every aspect of our lives with Sean John, Vote or Die, Ciroc, Making the Band, and most recently, I Want to Work for Diddy. He is like that annoying ass uncle in your family that you just have to love. While I am sure that this is more than enough for all of us, the question is, when is it enough for Diddy? In his defense, he has told us for years that, He Won’t Stop.
Now, I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a mogul and there is no one better at it in this generation than Diddy. There is also nothing wrong with wanting to give your children the absolute best, which we have seen this man do time and time again, and I commend him for that. What I do question often though, and not just about Sean Combs, but about many black celebrities, is the motivation for these typical public displays of opulence.
If you wanted to have an event such as this for your son, which is surely your right, why does MTV have to be in the building with the cameras rolling non-stop? Why is the corporate signage all over the place? With all due respect, does a 16 year-old really need a car that costs more than a college education?
The thing that has often irritated me about Sean Combs is that despite all he has accomplished, it is like he is always in the midst of a struggle to gain love and acknowledgement through monetary and business accomplishments. Buying yachts, homes in the Hamptons, and throwing All-White Parties will only make people envy you, not love you.
What sucks even more is that this issue is quite symbolic of a Hip-Hop generation that is just getting real money for the first time. As we in the hood have often lusted for material things, because we often didn’t have, we have killed, sold drugs, stole and committed a number of other atrocities that have consumed us as a people. We have fallen so short of our true worth as a people, measuring our successes by a dollar.
Going back to Graham’s book, what I actually remember about it even more than its commentary is the actual day that I purchased it. As I pulled it off of the shelf and gazed at its cover, underneath the title, someone had written, “NIGGERS!” in pen. As I stood there, I remember reflecting on the irony that a book documenting the upper echelons of black society wasn’t even immune to this asinine view of the race as a whole. Paying for the book, the Caucasian saleswoman, with a classic look of “white guilt” exclaimed, “I’m so sorry sir, I can order you another copy right away”. I quickly told her, “Nah, I want this one, because I don’t EVER want to forget this moment.”
What I realized on that Friday night, was that a light skin tone, university, fraternity or summer home in Martha’s Vineyard would never protect me from the ignorance of others; only my character could.
I hope Diddy gets to have a moment like that one day too.
Recklessly Yours,
A Negro and A Keyboard
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As I try to find the words to comment on your view point, I’ll say, you must have a touchscreen keyboard by now as you seriously abused the keyboard with this one. It is so true that we, minority folk, at times overcompensate for areas that we are lacking in. In one sense one could view this positively and compare Diddy to Comic Book Hero Dare Devil… Here’s a brother who is blind but lives his life nomorally;Due to his impaired vision, he uses what he does have (hearing, touch, smell etc) to “see” the world when the world has take that ability away from him. Diddy in one sense is filling the void of being once financially incapacitated to that of financial actualization- A feat the rest of us may not acheive in 2 lifetimes. In other words, Diddy is only making up for the time he was broke and even more so being a kid growing up in Harlem with a single parent broke…
The problem as you noted only too well my brother is that Diddy is not only using his son’s b-day bash to flaunt his business accomplishmnts but he teaching his son, when you “ballin” you get a pass at being looked at as ignorant. So he thinks. Seriously, 360,000 dollars on a car plus I’m sure more than two average people annual salary to employ a full time driver. Did it ever occur to Diddy that maybe instead of droppin all cash on a driver, he could get Justin some driving lessons. (i’m not even hatin on the car) where is the lessons in responsibility? One thing I don’t get is why is it when a person gets “real” money he/she a deactualizes him/herself. Maybe its because I don’t have Diddy money but if my dad gave me a car that I couldnt drive I’d be like dad, I know this is a fly ass car but ain’t the whole point of geting a car , especially at 16 is so you can drive it??? Diddy should take a page out of Denzel Wahington experience with his son. In his book “A Hand to Guide Me” Denzel states a story about his son getting a football scholarhsip to Morehouse. Denzel tells the coach, we loved to play for you, so how about I just pay for my son’s education and you give the scholarhsip to someone who could use it. Coach replies, “with all due respect Mr. Washington, the university is awarding YOUR SON with the scholarship because HE EARNED IT….” Denzel learned a real importnant lesson on this day… Just cause I made it doesn’t mean I take away my son’s opportunity to EARN things. In essense Diddy is doing this to Justin…
Also to further your point, my brother… and to use Denzel one mo’ time…
A little while back Denzel Washington and his family visited the troops at Brook Army Medical Center, in San Antonio, Texas (BAMC). This is where soldiers who have been evacuated from Germany come to be hospitalized in the United States, especially burn victims. While Denzel Washington was visiting BAMC, they gave him a tour of one of the Fisher Houses (a hotel where victim’s families stay). He asked how much one of them would cost to build. He took his check book out and wrote a check for the full amount right there on the spot.
This story wasn’t all over MTV, BET or national newspapapers… Denzel makes money but he doesn’t have to flaunt it…
In short to piggy back on your point my brother…Diddy just cause you make Dollars , don’t mean you make SENSE…..