By The Planet Ill Staff

Tonight’s the night for the Grammy’s folks and that means pomp and circumstance and a bunch of awards for people that may or may not deserve it.  But the good folks at Planet ill have decided to take matters into their own hands and pick the people we think should win.  It’s mainly for fun but if you’re not careful you may learn something before it’s done.

Record of the Year

 Halo (Beyonce), I Got a Feeling (BEP’s), Use Somebody (Kings of Leon), Poker Face (Gaga) and You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift).

Fawn Renee: Use Somebody should win this one. I love this song. Kings of Leon is a very talented bunch, like a cross between Daughtry and Nickelback. Production was solid, not all whimpy like Sasha Fierce’s ‘Halo.’ And their vocals rock (literally). 

A Negro With A Keyboard: As 2008 was “The Year of Barack”, it is only right that caucasians wanted their spot back in 2009, “The Year of The Single White Female”.  As such, I will guarantee that the winner of this award will be either Lady Gaga or America’s Sweetheart, Taylor Swift, with the odds on favorite being Swift, if for nothing else, the fact that Beyonce is a nominee and it will make for a funny Kanye West joke.

Shelz.: I can’t say I’m a fan of any of these songs really, but I guess I’ll go with “Poker Face.” After Gaga told everybody the lyric “cause I’m bluffin with my muffin” was about her vulva instead of making up some innocuous bullskit to please the PC folks, I decided I liked her. Then she said the song was about bisexuality, but we still don’t know if that’s sex with men or women in her case. 

Odeisel: I’m gonna go with Kings Of Leon. I want to know what country Leon is and how did they get to be the kings of that shit. And how you get to have more than one king?

Song of the year

Poker Face (Gaga), Pretty Wings (Maxwell), Single Ladies (Beyonce), Use Somebody (Kings of Leon ) and You Belong with Me (Taylor Swift)

Shelz: I’m going to take Pretty Wings on this one.  Maxwell has always been targeted by critics for having pedestrian lyrics.  I think he stepped his game up with this song. But as long as that Swift girl is basking in the glow of her Kanye verbal assault, I think she may get the pity vote.

A Negro With A Keyboard: With a single that had unmarried men across the country afraid to even ask their girlfriends a question for fear of having a left ring finger thrusted into their face, one would think that Sasha Fierce, would take this hands down, but thanks to a very Henny’d up Kanyeezie at the VMAs, Bey will be forced to concede this award to Taylor Swift as penance for the crowning moment Taylor lost in September.

Fawn Renee: **My guess is, Taylor Swift or Kings of Leon will walk away with this one. Sounds silly to compare the two, but that is a testament to our tainted music industry. I mean I like Taylor Swift and this dong was cute but umm cute<<<<classic.

Odeisel: I’d like to see Maxwell win, not because I thought his album was outrageously good but because it was a real song with genuine sentiment and not the result of marketing and all that other crap.

Best New Artist…

Keri Hilson, Zac Brown Band, MGMT, Silversun Pick Ups, The Ting Tings

Fawn Renee: I love Miss Keri Baby, but I find it laughable that she was nominated for best new artist. She had like two singles that were only hot because of the features *kanye shrug*. The Ting Tings aren’t exactly a ‘new artist’ but they have that world-wide, LA club appeal. They may take this one

Shelz: Ummm… Keri Hilson was nominated for an MTV award in 2007 for “The Way I Are” but she’s the only person on this list I’ve ever heard of so she wins by default.

A Negro With A Keyboard: I am not going to front, the only one of these people I have heard of before this is Keri Hilson, but I am almost certain that she did not move more units than one of these acts.  While Keri should graciously accept and ride this Affirmative Action nod to the fullest extent, I am going to pick Zac Brown Band, because the voters probably confused them with Zac Efron from High School Musical

Odeisel: I’m gonna go with the Ting Tings on name alone.  You can’t be a new artist if you been out for years and the other cats don’t have that oomph

Album of the Year

I Am Sasha Fierce, The E.N.D.(Black Eye Peas), The Fame Monster (Lady Gaga), Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King (Dave Matthews Band), Fearless (Taylor Swift)

Fawn Renee: I won’t acknowledge Sasha Fierce, but I will acknowledge BEP’s ‘The E.N.D’ which was a great, eclectic album and DESERVES album of the year. But (Taylor Swift) wears short skirts and they wear T-shirts. She’s a cheerleader and they’re on the bleachers.’ Let’s see if they get this one right.

Shelz: I can’t in good conscious pick any of these.  Can I write in my vote? No Line on the Horizon, OBFCL2, Us, Black Summers Night.. should I continue?. Hell, I think every one of J. Periods 2009 mixtapes were better than all of the nominees. However, my crystal ball tells me The Black Eyed Peas will take this only because everyone who owns an iPod bought it.

A Negro With A Keyboard: Taylor Swift bitches! Thanks for the push, Yeezie!

Odeisel: None of the above.  But you gotta give props to the BEP’s.  There was a time when them and Mike were the only people selling records.  I’d swear this album was two years old though. Somewhere Perez Hilton is stewing.

Best solo rap performance

Best I Ever Had (Drake), Beautiful (Eminem), DOA(Jay-Z), Day n Nite (Kid Cudi), Casa Bey (Mos Def)

Fawn Renee: Slim pickings here, I tell ya. It feels blasphemous to vote the rookie over the veteran, but such is life. Drizzy might take this one. Hell, maybe even Cudi, but it won’t be Jay. My vote’s for Drake! ‘Best I Ever Had’ is still well-liked. Cudi’s light has already dimmed

Shelz: I would love to see Kid Cudi win this award.  Day and Nite led to the best say no to drugs speech I’ve ever given my son.  Plus I want to see if Cudi has the balls to give an acceptance speech on par with the nonsense he’s been spewing in smaller venues.

A Negro With A Keyboard: As I reflect on this past this year of lackluster rap, in order to pick a “winner”, I am forced to remember the venue in which this award is being given, and as it is the Grammy’s, you know it is always best to bet on the white boy who’s, “flow on Renegade, was f**kin awesome! Applaud him!” 

Odeisel: Since cats are still using autotune that crosses out DOA. Casa Bey was very dope but created very little waves. Gonna go with the rookie Mr. Graham.  That song just killed all year and he doesn’t even have an album. Eminem and Jay-Z are fighting to stay alive. Drake and Cudi are helping shape what’s next. It’s close but wheelchair Jimmy rolls on for the win.

Best Rap Album

Universal Mind Contro(Common), Relapse(Eminem), Roots (Flo rida), The Ecstatic (Mos Def) and The Renaissance (Q-Tip)

Fawn Renee: I hope Q-Tip takes this one, but this IS the Grammy’s so Eminem will likely walk away the victor.

Shelz: I’m not sure when the Grammy people think one year ends and another begins, but I could have sworn The Renaissance came out in 2008.  It still gets my vote though.  Actually, I’m going to root for everyone who isn’t called Flo Rida.

A Negro With A Keyboard: Do I even have to answer this question? Welcome home Slim Shady! Honorable Mention goes to Flo Rida though, for constantly maintaining the courage to display that hairline in public (You have to get something for that monstrosity).

Odeisel: Q-Tip should win this one quality-wise. Common’s album was weak. Mos Def’s was brilliant in spots but uneven. Same with Mr. Mathers. I can’t even take a Flo rida nod seriously, no offense.