By A Negro With A Keyboard

I mean, REALLY Toni Braxton?

Is this what it has REALLY come to? Staging wet open-mouth kisses with barely post-adolescent R&B singers on national television? Not to mention the fact that your HUSBAND was IN THE AUDIENCE and your TWO CHILDREN were probably at home watching like, “Daddy looks darker on TV!!”

In what appears to be yet another attempt by a 90’s R&B star to “stay relevant” by today’s entertainment industry standards, we witnessed one of the most sultry R&B artists of our generation, Ms. Toni Michelle Braxton, sacrifice her relatively solid public credentials in hopes of getting those Soundscan numbers up.

Now, one thing I never do is judge individuals, particularly those I don’t personally know. However, I do in fact judge people’s actions (including my own), and when judging Toni Braxton’s actions at the Soul Train Awards, I think it’s very clear to see that she DEFINTELY PLAYED HERS!

See, I hate s**t like this, particularly when Negroes have better home training they let on. This woman grew up in the church, with a strong moral upbringing, as her father was a clergyman. Then over the course of an impressive 20-year career in the spotlight, she managed to keep her personal conduct and relationships away from Mediatakeout-like fodder, managed to stay in a marriage for 8 years, have two children, and be a national spokesperson for an autism organization (after her youngest son was diagnosed), all while maintaining a consistent music career that gracefully walked the line of sensuality and self-respect. All of a sudden though, WE BRAND NEW?

Even when she did trip up in her impetuous youth (I know ya’ll remember when she broke up the Dallas Mavericks, messing with  Jason Kidd, Jamal Mashburn, and Jimmy Jackson) she managed to bounce with grace, leaving the Mavs in the dust until Dirk)

Now clearly, we don’t know all of the details surrounding this saliva-swapping with the self-proclaimed “Inventor of Sex,” Trey Songz, but how are you as a GROWN-ASS MARRIED MOTHER, going to even portray yourself as a thirsty cougar? You can also miss me with all of that “it was in the choreographer’s script” nonsense too, because you knew EXACTLY what you were doing.

Also, since all of this tomfoolery occurred, I’ve heard all of her, “Yeah, me and Keri (her husband, Keri Lewis of Mint Condition) are separated” talk, but at the end of the day, does that REALLY justify the public embarrassment of the man who until your divorce is final, is your husband and the father of your sons? Like, for real, do you need to really emasculate this man to a point where he can’t even walk in the street without people straight clowning him (I know I would)? Yeah Toni, way to help your sons grow up, keeping their dad as the man they want to be like. What makes this even more foul is that regardless of where your marriage is heading, this is the man who stood by your side when you when you faced a life-threatening heart condition. Way to show your appreciation.

Above all, the most confusing part about this whole situation is why do you even need to pull a publicity stunt to get attention? Your career track record speaks for itself: 6 Grammys, 40 Million records sold worldwide, and the highest-grossing Las Vegas headlining show by an African-American in history.

What else do you have to prove? That you can still get younger dudes to take your album cover to the bathroom?  Toni, my whole crew could have confirmed your UNQUESTIONABLE COUGAR-STATUS for you in VIVID DETAIL after a few Long Island Iced Teas, and saved you the public embarrassment.

In the end, I definitely hope the tarnishing of Ms. Braxton’s image was worth it, because just judging from some of the reactions we have seen to this Trey Songz shenanigan, your swag might not surf like it used to after this.

Only time and those record sales will tell. Just promise me one thing though Toni: Can we PLEASE be spared having to see you as the lead in a Soulja Boy video?

Recklessly Yours,

A Negro and a Keyboard

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