By shelz.
Most of us saw Maia Campbell the other day for the first time in a long time. Gone was the pretty girl from the “In Da House” days. That young actress was replaced by a rambling, incoherent, disheveled mess of a woman who was being targeted by a giddy cameraman attempting to pull out the very worst in her for a couple of cool points. He succeeded. We watched and then the fun began.
It was a cool, comical game of the e-dozens with thousands of players and one subject. I wasn’t shocked that the people would find this amusing. What was a bit unsettling was that the majority of the most insensitive of the hecklers were black women..
I continued to read as those jokes devolved into piercing pot shots. Ms. Campbell was unable to fight back, so ladies sharpened their knives and went in for the kill on an already wounded target. I immediately thought back to a debate I had with a close friend and his assertion that black women hate each other. I argued fiercely with him that evening. I wouldn’t have yesterday.
We bemoan our mistreatment regularly. We site situation after situation in the media or even in our relationships with men where we have been maligned and misrepresented. We feel unrecognized and disrespected. However, we can’t command deference from anyone else if we can’t respect each other. We see our sister girls daily hanging by their finger tips from the fringe of a life we all know is hella hard to traverse and we keep stepping. We thank the Lord it’s not us. We pat ourselves on the back for not letting our lives get that out of hand and we turn our noses up at those who do. Why is it so hard to imagine that we set the bar with our behavior and everyone else will find it easy to emulate?
As a group, we have been devalued but instead of fighting back, individually we tag along, I guess thinking that if we participate in diminishing the importance of those who look like us it will save us from a similar fate. But if you believe that you are wrong. If the day comes that finds you in a set of similar pitiful circumstances and you are reliant on the type of support many black women provide each other, the sharks will circle and the buzzards will fly. The only difference between you and Ms. Campbell will be that no one will care enough to film your descent.
Don’t get me wrong. I am aware that a million and one editorials condemning that display of insensitivity yesterday will not get Ms. Campbell or anyone else in her situation treatment or counseling. I also know that even if everyone had something supportive to say, wherever she was after the camera was turned off was where she was going to be, regardless. However, I also know if the support that burgeoned for her later in the day had been around for all of the Maia Campbell’s of the world at the beginning of their trials, they may not have sunk as far as they did. If we would support instead of snicker, if we would offer help instead of turning our backs to gossip, plenty of downward spirals could be caught before they spin out of control. But we don’t do that. We allow our sisters to fall because we feel taller when we are standing on their necks.
So do black women really hate each other? I hope not. However it’s clear our relationships have been disrupted by vacant spots in our esteem that we fill with our malicious treatment of each other. That’s something we need to admit and repair because there, on that tape, even with the grace of God, could go each and every one of us.
Follow Us on Twitter @ http://twitter.com/planetill
Follow shelz. on Twitter @ http://twitter.com/shelzp
Join Us on the Planet Ill Facebook Group for more discussion
I really feel bad for Maia. I know there are people that love her and want to help, but can’t. But what I feel most bad about, is that she’s being exploited and used. They know she’s mentally ill and using drugs as a self medication. It really made me outraged that this video was even thought of to be made. And the pimp or scum bag doing it didn’t feel bad about what he is doing. I really hope Maia can get the help she needs. I hope she comes to a point where she wants to be helped. This just makes me so sad.
It’s heartbreaking. I always looked at Maia as having the formula for Hollywood. Never understood why she didn’t get better breaks after the sitcom. Oh yeah, she’s black. Anyway, I don’t think it was nearly as many black women who thought her struggles was funny. I think many black men may have. So many brothas have turned their back on the women from whence they came. I think sistas support each other much more than society wants us to believe. We do have a long way to go, I’ll admit. I know in my heart she will recover. Now more than ever sistas need each other, most of the time, we are all each other have.
well, i think all we can speak from is experience. while i have a great albeit small group of friends who is support me, i still see so much disheartening behavior in our ranks. maybe we should start an organization.. some sort of super hero support movement. we all need it from time to time and its sad that in their time of greatest need, some of our sistas dont have anyone to lean on.