By Malice Intended

We often see life as a series of goals to be achieved or a list of things to do.  Ask anyone what they want out of life and you will hear an entire battle plan or itinerary.  We always know exactly what we want out of life, or at least we think we do. Most of the things on our lists are vague, clichéd goals that we’ve seen advertised on TV.  Things that our parents tell us we should want.  We spend so much time chasing goals that may or may not be what we truly want, and almost no time truly getting to know ourselves.

The scariest journey in life is not venturing out in the world to make it on your own.  There is another journey that begins simultaneously that is much more frightening:  the journey of self discovery; finding who we truly are and coming to grips with our limitations and flaws.  People usually focus on the former because it’s more tangible.  Finding a job and an apartment is a lot clearer and straight forward than reflecting on what you’re going through at the moment and how the ramifications affect you.

Perhaps our fear of looking inward stems from the selective way in which we tend to deal with the truth.  We revel in our successes but try extremely hard to hide and forget about our failures.  Our deficiencies of character are the hardest things for us to face.  Those are what we should be concentrating on as opposed to our “talents”.  We always accentuate the positive and hold back the negative.  This approach can be misleading, for the negatives often tell us the most about ourselves.

Further deeper exploration of our character reveals qualities that while not necessarily bad, may not line up with our self-image.  Serious soul searching may reveal that we are not as liberal as we would like to believe, or as smart, or as tough.  Sometimes our “flaws” are not meant to be corrected or dealt with.  So often we believe it necessary to change the things we don’t like.  Some things just simply are.  They make up the unique puzzle that is us.  Trying to expel all of the undesirable elements can leave a bland and boring picture.  Perfection isn’t always a good thing, and can be rather uninteresting when it comes to human beings.

The greatest joke of all time is that we expect our life plans to work out despite the fact that we never take the time to know and understand the person who’s guiding the ship to sea (us).  We know them on a superficial level, which probably goes a long way in explaining why the plans we lay out for him are thought out in a vague and shallow manner.  That would also explain why such plans rarely work out.  Even when they do, we are not happy with the results.

So many Americans are unhappy with their jobs.  How many of us think about yearly salaries and benefits instead of trying to find out what we would really like to do for a living?  When searching for a “life-partner”, how many of us truly have requirements that stretch beyond looks and sexual compatibility?  Vague, superficial plans often yield vague, superficial results.  Such results are rarely fulfilling, especially for the duration of a lifetime.

Knowing oneself is essential to developing an effective life plan.  You can’t have one without the other.  Full knowledge of self allows one to map out a plan that is realistic and goals that are attainable and fulfilling.  It’s the best way to ensure that you get what you want out of life.  It allows you to have the clearest vision possible, to see the obstacles in your path and avoid them.  That old cliché is 100% right.  We are our own worst enemies. How can you defeat your enemy if don’t take the time to get to know him?

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