By Bill Starlin

As American cities scamper for new revenue sources  to balance budgets in the  the current fiscal apocalypse, their citizens are finding their diversions under assault.

The cigarette society fell first and public smoking bans were met with general applause. As a result, many states began applying sin taxes to cigarette sales, which were supposedly earmarked for public good-related funds. Sure the state is pimping nicotine addicts. Stop smoking and you don’t pay a tax, right? Well, when you know that they can’t stop (see billions in settlement money from big tobacco) you’re taking advantage.  The slippery slope began.

Nothing is off limits, as we’ve heard considerations for a tax on non-diet soda (sugar being the most irresistible drug anyway), iPod downloads (like people PAY for that stuff) and an assortment of other diversionary niceties.

Now it seems, they are coming for…the booty. Gasp! That’s right my friends. New York State is seriously considering a ten dollar pole tax. That’s ten Washingtons, people. For those who don’t make it rain, that’s at least Paradise, Chocolate, and Ecstasy on stage 6. How dreadful.

This is far worse than a sin tax. This is an escapism tax. Not to mention 10 bucks a head out of the mouths of Paradise, Chocolate, and Ecstacy’s children. Where will they get their PSP money?  The strip club is not a necessity, but after a hard day’s work, a nagging husband or wife, and a reminder that your 401k is tanking, isn’t a man (or a woman) entitled to smack a little ass?

What’s next? Will they post meters in the bathrooms and charge a masturbation tax? Or put laser scanners on our pillows (during non-peak hours of course) and charge a nap tax? How about hitting up Hostess for the Twinkie tax or charging the children a cupcake tax?  Gotta balance that budget!

I understand the need for balanced budgets, but must the people always bear the brunt of fiscal stupidity? How about exercising fiscal restraint and informed policy, and actually auditing the projects and programs that we pay for? Or going all the way, and legalizing drugs  and prostitution and taxing them. We’d be operating at a budget surplus and the police won’t be spending money and man hours trying to look like they are curbing something they have no hope of stopping. And to think, this whole America thing started over a tea tax. Interesting

Good day, and good luck

-Bill