Jack Roller, tell us a story

[Jack Roller]

So now I'm wondering if Zingarelli really heard that rumor about group masturbation or just wanted to see it. Like is that guy working in an Applebee's kitchen somewhere yelling "GREASE!" every time the manager goes out the door?

Seriously though, he was cool people. When they took us to the gas chamber they wanted us to sound off and represent our platoons while we were getting gassed. The shit was impossible though. You would yell and then your lungs filled up with gas and it was like you just couldn't take a breath - like your lungs were already full. And your eyes burned like a mother. So you ended up walking out silent, teary eyed, with snot running out of your nose. Some people threw up.
But Zingarelli came out doing devil horns with his hands and screaming like Ric Flair on a rollercoaster. The company commander was there and was insulted for some reason and said in his nerdy Herb voice "Glad you liked it Zingarelli! Go back through!"
So he did, and a couple minutes later he came out rocking horns and screaming louder than the first time - "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I was bent over with my arms out trying to shake that shit off of me but I couldn't help laughing my ass off at that dillhole commander's expression.

[Oseru]

^lmao^

[Swaying Blue Corn]

Is there a good movie about bootcamp? Cause there needs to be,

[Jack Roller]

Is there a good movie about bootcamp? Cause there needs to be,

Full Metal Jacket is pretty much it. I know it's a Vietnam antiwar movie but it's the best when it comes to boot camp. I've heard at least one other movie avoided focusing on boot camp too much because they didn't want to compete with it.

I started reading On the Road btw. Been killing a lot of time for me.

[Dr Doom]

Don't worry, once I start writing the Luchador epic I'll make sure to have one of the acts focus entirely on the boot camp, and that part shall be called Full Metal Jack.

[Jack Roller]

lol

[Jack Roller]

The first week of red phase in basic training we got a few breaks here and there at places like the classroom but they weren't breaks so much as times we were straining to stay awake. One of the places we fought sleep in was our platoon training room. The room wasn't very big. Our platoon had to sit cross-legged to fit in it and it was a tight squeeze. But that didn't stop the drill sergeants from making us exercise in it if someone fell asleep, failed to pay attention, or whatever reason they pulled out of the air. So we ran into each other and stepped on each other - no apologies - we didn't dare speak. And we'd be made to exercise until the walls would sweat.
The time I remember most in that room though was when Drill Sergeant Rasmussen called us in there to read out of a policy and procedure manual. He sat down cross-legged in front of us and explained that many of us were probably under the impression that drill sergeants could no longer able to curse at trainees or yell. He sarcastically used a voice reserved for good news to say we were right. Then he began reading.
"At no time will drill sergeants use profanity in the presence of trainees."
"Fuck that."
"At no time will drill sergeants use profanity when addressing trainees."
He looked up from the book, "Fuck you."
"At no time will drill sergeants use non-verbal profanity when addressing trainees."
He slowly and deliberately flipped us all off, "Fuck you."
"At no time will drill sergeants use profanity to refer to trainees."
"Fuck you, motherfuckers."
Then he closed the book like he just finished story time and asked "Does anyone have any questions about our new policies regarding drill sergeant interaction with trainees?"
Nobody said a word. Nobody looked around to see if anyone was going to say a word. It was silent. Then he moved on to the next lesson.

[Dr Doom]

I know why you don't have any tattoos, but seriously, why don't you have this tattoo?

[Jack Roller]

I know why you don't have any tattoos, but seriously, why don't you have this tattoo?

Holy shit. That is some love right there. lol

[Swaying Blue Corn]

Yo Jack, srs question: do you feel the military made you a better person?