I woke up last Friday morning on a couch. I didn't have pants on, or underwear. The tv was blaring and I recognized the cartoon that was on - Adventure Time. I didn't recognize the little kid that was watching the tv on the couch next to me. When he saw I was awake he told me I pissed my pants and he said it as if there was nothing weird about that. So I kept the blanket on and went out side to ask what happened.
I didn't remember much about the end of the night myself but I remembered how things started. The night before Joe and I had went downtown as his sister was bar hopping with a bachelorette party. We met up with them and went to a couple bars when Oseru showed up and we really started getting fucked up. I can't remember what the shot special was at the pub but we got pickled. And then when it was getting close to closing time the girls wanted to dance. Joe was talking to a couple of athletes and in his sister and me thought he was starting shit. I didn't feel like talking to the guys so I just grabbed Joe and we went outside. Joe was pissed though and said he was going home, cussing at me. And I fucked up. I should have handled it differently. So Joe is screaming and Oseru is trying to get him to go for a walk but I was sure Joe would go home if that happened. In the middle of this, Joe's sister, who I kind of have a thing for, comes out and asks why we're always fighting and Joe yells "Jack wants your pussy!"
So I'm not sure how the dust settled but I'm sure I asked Joe to punch me in the face to square things because that's something I do when people are upset. So we got over shit and went in the bar. And I really have no idea what I was saying to all the girls but I know I was drunk enough to dance and that's pretty drunk for me. And I remember this girl Renee saying to me "You're going home with me tonight." But I no-sold it because I didn't want to screw things up for Joe's sister, Tara (there was never a chance in hell anything was happening with Tara but I'm a dreamer). Anyways, I don't remember getting on the drunk shuttle but I remember it dropping me off at Tara's hotel with Renee and some dude with a 30 pack of beer that I've never seen before. And I don't know if it was Renee or Tara that said it, but they wanted the dude gone. So I'm in the lobby telling him he has to leave. And he's not looking me in the eye, kind of motioning that he needs to get in the room and I tell him "You need to fucking go. Don't make shit bad." Every time he half opened his mouth I cut him off and told him to beat it, moving closer to him. And he left. Then I realized what he was trying to say. He left his beer in the room. I kiiind of feel like an asshole about that.
So then Tara wanted to get her car from downtown. We started walking and I wasn't doing that shit. I called my friend Jason and told him to pick us up. Then I laid down in the grass to wait for him - which I'm pretty sure I remember pissed the girls off but I couldn't be bothered at that point.
Then I remember Jason picking us up. I don't remember him dropping Tara off. And I'm not sure if Renee started making out with me before or after we dropped her off. And I don't remember why I didn't end up with Renee that night.
Jason said at one point he stopped and said "You two need to figure out what you need to do." And for some reason I wanted to go home? The thing about Jason is I'm pretty sure he was drunk as well so who fucking knows.
So I don't remember dropping her off but I remember sitting in the McDonalds drive thru and realizing I didn't have a cent on me and raging out a bit. Jason said he offered to buy me food and I screamed at him "Do you even fucking know me anymore?!" But that's from Jason so yeah.
And then the next morning this girl dropped her kid off at the house we were at and he woke up Jason to tell him there was water all over the kitchen floor. We're pretty sure it was my piss and my soaked pants and drawers were on the living room floor.
That was the first night of my vacation.
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Originally Posted by Oseru
