Porn Discussion

[Jack Roller]

Ok... Oseru and I are at Barnes and Noble... Nevermind, rewind...

Back at Fort Bragg around 1998 or 1999 Sable from WWE was the cover girl on Playboy magazine. I needed that shit in my life so I went down the first day it hit the racks and bought it from the lady at the 24 hour shopette that I'd seen a hundred times. There were a couple of older ladies there and they acted like people's mothers. I knew it could be awkward but again, I needed this shit. So she goes to ring it up and she starts scolding me like I'm her kid. She says "I musta sold ten o' these things today. A lot of good bodies buyin that bullllll-crap!"

I never recovered. I didn't buy another porn from a lady ever again. And do you realize how often it's a lady at the register? It's never a dude. Or a lone dude anyways. I know I'm too old to be worrying about this shit but yeah. It's a phobia I guess.

So I'm at Barnes and Noble with Oseru and I've done this before - I offer him some extra cash to buy the magazine for me. He asks me like he has before what the big fucking deal is and I give him the same answer. So he grabs a Front Magazine for me (Front is the GOAT). And I'm glad it's him because at this place it's always some bookish but cute girl at the register. And this girl was cuter than most. I'm in line with him and I start making cracks about his magazine. The girl is cracking a smile and like I always worry about, she's asking Oseru all those questions to drag things out - especially when she asked "So did you find EVERYTHING you needed today?" I was snickering my ass off. Then when they're done, Oseru turns around and says "Here's your nudie mag fella. You want the change?" And the girl starts giggling her ass off. And I still had to buy my own shit. And of course she exaggerates it again when she asks "And did you find EVERYTHING you wanted today?" I know I was red as hell. Shit.