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Bullying: The Problem That Isn’t One…Until It Is.

By Odeisel

Bullying. It has been around since the moment people realized that we are not all the same. And as soon as a group of people were similar enough to outnumber those who didn’t fit, it’s been on like Donkey Kong ever since. You’re too short. Too fat. Too ethnic. Too gay. Too unlike the rest of whomever is “calling the social shots.” People from earlier generations ( including mine) grumble when we hear talk of bullying epidemics. There were only two ways to handle bullying: give up that milk money or swing as hard as you can and whatever happens, they’ll find an easier mark next time. In the modern age, it just isn’t that simple anymore.

When we were children, we used to be able to go home. It’s very rare that you get bullied at school AND around your block. If you didn’t have the gusto to swing back, you could at least find refuge when you went home. With the advance of social media and internet pervasion, there just isn’t anywhere to hide anymore. You get punched in your face and it’s on World Star or on YouTube. If they don’t like you, all of a sudden your Facebook page is littered with terrorist threats or lies that will never go away because every page is cached or someone has that screenshot ready. There is no respite.

So what are you to do as a victim? Hell, what are you supposed to do as a parent. You can’t even physically discipline your own children these days so Heaven help you if you go down to school and beat the dog shit out of your child’s oppressors (aside from the fact that your intervention will only make things worse. There are no adults in the Lord of the Flies.). And if your child IS the bully and you didn’t know, now your parenting and character comes under scrutiny, along with the fact that one of these kids can end up raising the ante and killing your child.

So we have a problem that has existed as long as our species that has evolved into a plague that places our children, our families, and on a very real level our society in the gravest of dangers that only grows as our dependence on the distance created by technology  increases. How do you build rapport and understanding when our most vulnerable people never learn to deal with actual people? We attempt with all we have to strengthen our bonds as a society and band together to deal with the bullying issue.

There are town hall meetings and programs designed to draw attention to bullying and cast it as an epidemic. It doesn’t address the root of why bullying exists, but it at least draws attention to something that most of us felt was just a rite of passage with childhood or a part of life. There are many things that can help to deal with the roots causes of bullying. Confidence, self-esteem and self-awareness are key to fortifying your child against social, mental and physical attacks. One thing about most bullies is that they always take the easy win. If you can take the heat, most will move on and find someone else.

It’s a new day, folks. The issues that our children face are far more complex than getting picked last, getting wedgied or getting their pockets rabbit-earred. We can’t afford to look at this issue the way we looked at it during our time. Monitor your kids. Look for signs of stress and changes in how they behave. I was dismissive about it once. Kids today are just too soft, blah blah. The usual. But the more you look at today’s kids and the speed of their world, the more it becomes evident that “normal” issues can skyrocket past their ability to deal with them.

Peace.

odeisel

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