It has been a long week for your girl folks. Atlanta experienced its own personal ice age and being cooped up in the house with a hyper ten year old is not the move. I dared my kid to go outside and put his tongue on the nearest pole, but I guess he saw A Christmas Story.
I know you have seen Gucci’s face and we can thank some sort of sniffles for taking out Mr. Raymond, but Lauryn Hill is another story. Even if she is late, it happens. Sometimes people are late. But you remix the songs to unrecognizable noise and don’t respond when the audience says they aren’t feeling it? Wow. It sounds like self-sabotage or instability of some sort. I hope she doesn’t pop up with a face tat next week. Anyway, this is And The Beat Goes On, so we need some freestyle follies and cover craziness to commence. First up is Heems.
Heems from Das Racist took Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” and did some really odd things to it. The track is slowed down to a sluggish drag and sounds like you’re listening to it through beer goggles, if that makes any sense. Katy Perry now sounds like a man and Heems voice is run through the Exorcist demon vocoder. He recites some adolescent love lyrics, but that doesn’t save this song from being hella creepy.
Heems – “Teenage Dream”
Next we have Chella H. She’s new to me, a gal rapper from the Chi who just dropped a mixtape called The Abortion. Funny thing is she’s on the cover with a condom in her mouth. Maybe she bit a hole into it. I don’t know. Anyway, she takes on Soulja Boy’s “Hammer” and talks about stuff like her period. I think this chick has an insemination obsession.
Chella H – “Hammer”
Moving on we have Chris Brown who is feeling himself more than he ever did pre-incident. “Look At Me Now” chronicles his paper chase and the fact that you can’t get into the club he can get into because well, he’s Chris Brown. Now we have “Look At Me Now” remixed with Twista and Lil Wayne (who you hackers ran off Twitter, shameful.) Twista is on the track for 45 seconds, but only says one word. Wayne is all over the place and CB should never ever ever rap. It’s still enjoyable though.
Chris Brown Feat. Twista and Lil Wayne – “Look At me Now”
Our next cover comes from Corrine Bailey Rae who took a chance with Prince’s “I Wanna Be Your Lover.” I may have liked this if the world didn’t have Prince, but we do and I don’t. The track sounds like one of those karaoke instrumentals. Her delivery is cute, bordering on strangely inebriated. You might like it. Give it a spin. I’ll stick with The Purple One.
Corinne Bailey Rae – “I Wanna Be Your Lover”
Wrapping things up is Tom Hanks’ kid. Yes, he’s an aspiring rapper and his name is Chet Haze. Now I haven’t known many Chet’s in my life, but when I hear that name, I think crew team and private school. Chets do a lot of things and do them well, but one thing I would never anticipate that a Chet would do is rap. But what do I know? He takes Wiz Khalifa’s “Black and Yellow” (Grrrrrrrr. I hope the Jets send Worthlessberger and his legion of evil sunflowers home for the season) and does a little something with it. Check him out.
Chet Haze – “White And Purple”
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