Fatherhood By Ruth Bloch

By G.I.N.A.

I want to celebrate men. Far too often we as women like to male bash; complaining about no good men and dead beat dads when there is an entire section of men (dads) who take care of their little ones.  Yes, men who are visible active participants in the lives of their children get lost in reports of child support cases, baby momma drama and the vindictive nature of some women.  Not anymore, today we acknowledge real men.

There was a time when I believed men shouldn’t be applauded for doing what they are supposed to.  However, we shine so much light on men who abandon their children that I felt those who remain permanent fixtures, in spite of their situation, deserve some shine also. The truth is, unless the pregnancy is planned neither men nor women are every truly “ready” for a child. The difference is women get ready and some men fold under pressure. 

My honorees don’t fold; they stand strong in the trenches and are a part of this day to day operation we call child rearing. This thing is no cake walk and children need testosterone in their lives; girls need their daddies to give them a blue print as to what a man should be and boys need fathers to show as well as teach them how to be men. These are priceless attributes. It takes more than money to raise a child.  These men know this and get involved with all the parent/teacher meetings, recitals, and sports they are on the front line. 

As a single mother I am blessed to have a great father for my child. The relationship between my child and her dad is ancient history but he’s never faltered.  In the end he was worried I would stand as a barrier to their relationship, not because I gave him any reason to think so, but because he knows how women can be. After the break up we didn’t’ speak to each other for weeks but he never used that as an excuse not to see or do for our child (we utilized a lot of “middle men” during this time period).  When times were rough he didn’t turn his back regardless of the personal issues he was facing. In his words, being without her would cause more turmoil than whatever he was dealing with at the time.  There were opportunities for him to leave the state and chase his dreams but he always chose to stay. He chose to do what many fathers have, put the well being of his child before himself (even when I pushed him to follow his dreams).  Thank you for never walking away and being a constant, tangible pillar of support for our baby.

Unfortunately, there are a group of men who are still in the fight to be a part of their children’s lives. They are combating the system and spiteful women all for the chance to spend an hour with the little ones, just to hold them, look into big, bright eyes or hear that heart melting laugh.  Ladies, I know we’ve heard it all before but using your child to “get back” at your ex may hurt him but it hurts the spirit you brought into this world even more. Women who keep their children from having a life complete with two parents should suffer cruel and unusual punishment (ok maybe that is a bit extreme, but have you ever seen the tears in a man’s eyes because he isn’t allowed to see his child). I understand there are men who are abusive and a threat to both mother and child but we aren’t talking about the undeserving today.  Kudos to those of you fighting for your babies. Continue the crusade because they are so worth it.

Here is to our wonderful fathers, we don’t have to wait until your one day to celebrate your greatness (and reward you with cheesy gifts and handmade cards).  Let us salute those men who make the sacrifices necessary for parenting.  Those of you who forgo a life of leisure for the sake of your children, the ones who could have easily turned and walked away when times weren’t ideal but chose to be a man instead.  This is for men who understand it takes more than a dollar and a phone call to nurture a child.  Men who wouldn’t entertain the thought of being without the ones they helped create. This is for you, our great and wonderful fathers, you may not have all the answers but you try and as mothers that’s all we ask. Cheers

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