By Odeisel

At its purest and most potent, love is dark. In the bright lights, when everything is going well, love is easy. But when things are rough, and you are filled with doubt in yourself and the object of that love, that’s when you really and truly need it and if you carry that struggle, it’s when the true power of love manifests. Meshell Ndegeocello is dark. Dark of skin and of clothing. Her music is dark of mood and feel. But it is that darkness that connects. It’s that darkness that reaches out to that corner of ourselves that have turned the lights out because we don’t want people to see that someone is home in our hearts; that part of us that acts as armor against heartache and pain.

It was the first time I had ever seen her perform live, although I had been a passive admirer of her music for some time. I was introduced to her by the movie Love and Basketball, with her song “You Made A Fool Of Me.” There was a moment in the film, where Omar Epps played Sanaa Lathan one on one for her heart; a moment where she put all she was on the line for something she desperately wanted…and lost. That song played as part of the score during that scene and as I looked around in the darkened theatre, I saw all the women tear, and all their dates slink down in their chairs, as men do to avert attention from their emoting. I have appreciated her force ever since.

On this night the darkness had returned. I was unaware that Meshell suffers from photosensitive epilepsy and is susceptible to seizures induced by flash photography.  While the darkness is a necessity, it also served as a metaphor for her passion. She dips in and out of visibility, with a very unorthodox rhythm that is unusual for conventional concerts. Her concert is all about ebb and flow of emotion, not performance. It was light on showmanship and histrionics and long on feel.  She knows her audience and what is important to them and her musical strength, lyricism, is given a chance to touch.

Darkness is hard to navigate, but when immersed in it, touch is stronger. Sound is stronger. Her band uses this to their full advantage.  Most of the occasional light is focused on the drummer, who alternated from manic to mellow as the sole force of aggression on stage.  The guitars were potent but never high enough to drown out Meshell’s gravelly deep voice.

As a performer, Ndegeocello does much with little.  Because she can’t rely on light shows to alter or influence the audience’s mood, her stage show is like a candlelit first date. It is measured, tender, and innocent with an ulterior mission to get into your panties. The emotional tumult of allowing your partner further in, wrestling with that vulnerability. She was at all times engaging, in conversation with the audience with humor while admitting her nervousness on being the center of attention. You could hear women yell out the titles of songs in their loudest voices and seeing them sing along word for word. And then she played “You Made A Fool Of Me,” and one of her fans got so caught up in the emotion of it she grabbed my arm, not on some crazy shit, but as someome who needed to release at that moment. The only time I ever saw that at a concert prior was Steve Wonder and he’s well…Stevie Wonder.

She did old standards and new music from her upcoming album. Her band was credible and played with a distinct intimacy of a group that has played together many times before. She took to her electric guitar occasionally, sometimes standing, at other times calling for a stool. She plays with the darkness, and as the show progressed she stepped out further into the dim light, becoming more visible; giving more of herself as she got more comfortable; stepping out and exposing herself ever so slightly.

A Meshell Ndegeocello show is a unique experience full of emotion and cloaked in the darkness of love.  You don’t have to have intimate knowledge of her catalogue to be swept away by the force of her show. The key to it is a pace that alternates from a gentle breeze to a gale force hurricane. But then that’s what love is. Unpredictable. Primal. Her mastery of that concept is what endears her to her fans and ultimately what makes her show a success.

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